My Thoughts Exactly
by Arwen02
Summary: Tonks is alone for Christmas. Seeking a place where she can mope about her isolation, she heads to Grimmauld Place, which she assumes is empty. However, when she has an emotional breakdown, who comes to the rescue? Tonks/Remus, HBP


**In theory, this is set in HBP at christmastime; however it was written before the book was released so it varies from the happenings in Half Blood Prince. Also, it is newly revised!**

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Tonks yawned as she stumbled into Number Twelve, 'Grim Old Place,' as she called it. It was 11:29 P.M., December 24th.

"Some way to spend Christmas," she mumbled. The house was empty -- The Weasleys and Harry were at the Burrow. Hermione was with her parents. Dung was out in some pub drinking and, to her best guess, ripping someone off. Moody was -- well, he was doing whatever it was Moody did when he wasn't working. Even her _parents _were in France for the holidays. As far as she knew, the rest of the Order were with family. She walked into the kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard. It was so quiet here, without him…

_No,_ she thought, _don't think about him. Not tonight. _Tonks used to be able to walk right in to Number Twelve and he'd always be here, even on days like this. "Sirius," she whispered, "You left me too soon."

Tonks prided herself on her ability to keep her emotions in check. She always felt it was her job to be the "cheerer upper." But when it came to Sirius…

She sighed and put down the empty glass. They'd grown so close in the few years they were in the Order together. And now he was gone.

Tonks felt a tear trickle down her face. "No," she whispered. "No, I'm being stupid." She picked up the glass and filled it half way with water, but it slipped from her trembling hands and smashed to the floor. It shattered into hundreds of pieces. Cryinf harder now, she gripped onto the cupboard handle for support. Now, the screaming voice of Mrs. Black erupted form down the corridor. Tonks stumbled into the hall, and screamed right back to the picture.

Suddenly, the rapid sound of footsteps came from the stairway. Moments later, Remus Lupin was there, yanking the curtains closed. He then turned to the crying Tonks and, without hesitation, pulled her close. They stood there for what seemed like hours, even after Tonks had finally calmed down. They both needed to feel the warmth of another human, to know that even when it seems like all hope is lost, it would be okay.

The steady beat of Remus's pulse throbbed against her cheek , which was snuggled against his neck. She stirred. "I -- the glass -- it broke. I should clean it up," she mumbled, pulling away from him. "At least it was only half empty."

Remus touched her nose. "Half full," he said, a smile appearing across his face. They both walked into the kitchen and cleaned up the shattered glass. They sat down at the table and looked at each other as a loud DONG could be heard echoing through the house.

"Happy Christmas," said Tonks lamely.

A shadow of a smile appeared across Remus's face. "It's Christmas?" he asked.

"God, its gloomy here," retorted Tonks. "Grim, if I may say."

"You may," said Remus.

"Sometimes… I don't know, sometimes I just want to get away, you know? It seems like I spend _all_ of my time here!" she said.

"Then why are you here now?" asked Remus.

Tonks grinned. "No food at my place," she said. "What about you? You can't possibly enjoy it here."

"I don't really have anywhere else to go."

"Aww. I promise I'll come here more often then," she said. A few moments of silence followed, before Tonks said, "Wow, I really feel having a drink."

"See that cupboard over there?" asked Remus. "No, the other one," he said. "Go open it."

Tonks stood up and walked to where Remus was pointing. "Locked," she said.

"It's too bad your not a witch," said Remus.

She chuckled. "Alohamora!" she said, pointing her wand to the handle that she had been grasping for support only ten minutes ago. She gaped at what she saw.

"You've forgotten whose house this is," said Remus, with a grin. For, behold, inside were bottles and bottles of, 'Ogden's Old Firewhiskey.'

"I love you, Sirius, wherever you are," said Tonks , a shadow of a grin appearing on her heart-shaped face. She took a bottle and two glasses. "Come on!" she said to Remus, and walked into the living room. She poured each glass half way. "Cheers!" she said to Remus.

"Cheers," he replied.

After a few minutes, Tonks spoke. "Remus, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing you need to know," she replied simply.

"Please?" she whined.

"No!" he said, laughing now at her adamancy.

"Why not?"

"It's -- embarrassing!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

"Not saying."

"Please?" she begged. as she stuck out her bottom lip.

Remus sighed.

"Aha! I sense defeat! Any moment know, you're going to tell --" she was cut off. Remus had leaned forward and kissed her full on the lips. And he didn't make it fast, either. Slowly, he pulled away. He was merely millimeters away from her face.

Tonks was completely thrown off guard. She gulped. "So… That's what you're thinking, huh?"

"I'm also thinking that I am fifteen years older than you," he whispered, but not moving away from her face.

"Tell me again," said Tonks breathlessly.

"What? That I'm fifteen years older than you?"

"No, the first thing you were thinking. Tell me again."

Remus smiled as he leaned in to Tonks for a second time. He felt as if happiness had just waltzed back into his life. Tonks pulled away.

"I love you," he whispered.

"My thought's exactly."

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